Researchers at the Department of Meteorology have revealed groundbreaking results from their study of the effects of rainwater on the human body.
"We could not find any adverse effects of rainwater through extensive quantitative and qualitative research. Therefore, we happily announce that rainwater is completely harmless to humans," said head researcher Ibrahim Solah (Ibbe) in a news conference.
When asked why the hell anybody would doubt that rainwater is harmless Ibrahim Solah (Ibbe) said, "Well, I feel it is my duty to inform Maldivians that we can carry on with our normal lives even when it's rainy. Perhaps this study will help us overcome our fear of rain. You know, there's a good case to be made for the notion that we might even find a way to enjoy it, if we didn't fear it so much."
The research, which spanned 8 years, is the longest study ever taken in the Maldives.
"Oh it didn't really take that long, we just took our time so it'll seem like we did a lot of work...," piped in an intern who was inexplicably present, only to be cut off by Ibrahim Solah (Ibbe), who started sweating profusely.
"THANK YOU swee...er, Intern. What he means to say is we worked really hard and the results of the study has been positive, so this is a good day," the last two words more of a growl as he glanced angrily at Intern.
Reports indicate they are super gay and totally doing it.
Only time will tell if we have the will to overcome this fear. Glorious will be the day when we don't scurry like rats at the slightest drizzle.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Ali Rameez has been busy
After his life of sex, drugs, and plagiarized music it seems he's now taken to telling us what's right and wrong.
I read this article on minivannews and I couldn't help but comment on some of its points.
"The 11 recommendations made by Salaf included removing anything that conflicts with Islam from the education curriculum or subject syllabuses"
Free inquiry is essential for an intelligent and creative community. There goes any chance of us ever producing scientists and intellectuals.
"...making it an offence to spread other religions and openly sell or possess any items that symbolise religious holidays of other religions"
This can be abused. Christian tourists may want to celebrate christmas, and their celebration can be intentionally misconstrued as a way of spreading their religion. You think the Islamic ministry is not that petty? Think again!
"Moreover, the proposed regulations should empower the authorities to check printing presses and bookshops for material in conflict with Islam, and make it an offence to publish such opinions or views in the media."
Authorities should never meddle with the press. Why? Because it is not a crime to communicate. Religion should not be a tool of oppression, and to use it as such makes you a kafir. (lol)
"Furthermore, the regulations should ensure that photos and videos used in advertisements do not clash with Islamic codes of behaviour and make it illegal to introduce elements of foreign cultures that conflict with Islam."
Elements of foreign cultures that conflicts with Islam? Hell, SHAVING conflicts with Islam for YOU guys ...so, well, fuck you.
"Salaf also recommended obligating non-Muslim visitors to inhabited islands to adhere to a code of dress and conduct appropriate to an Islamic environment."
May I also suggest subjecting them to a compulsory anti-septic shower on entry to every island? Don't wanna get kafir western germs on us, do we? (unless of course the germs convert)
"Salaf’s recommendations further call for specifying penalties for those who openly “challenge or defy” God, his Prophet or Islamic shariah, and make it an offence to disrespect the Prophet or his companions."
Don't you people realize how arrogant you sound? You are proposing that it be a crime (which it already is, I think?) to disagree with you.
Why shouldn't one disagree with you?
Why shouldn't one disagree with me?
Why shouldn't everybody disagree with everybody?
The point is, we all think, and we're all different - hence, we all think different. Give me a good reason why one should not be allowed to think for oneself, and make whatever decision one thinks is right for him/her.
Lets say, for example, a Maldivian somehow chose to become a Hindu. And lets say he "disrespected" the prophet and his companions. What happens then?
Nothing.
Except these extremist vermin get some sort of sick satisfaction from vengeance, and take away ones life just for uttering a few words.
Blasphemous they might be, but they are still just words, and it's childish to make a big deal out of them.
I read this article on minivannews and I couldn't help but comment on some of its points.
"The 11 recommendations made by Salaf included removing anything that conflicts with Islam from the education curriculum or subject syllabuses"
Free inquiry is essential for an intelligent and creative community. There goes any chance of us ever producing scientists and intellectuals.
"...making it an offence to spread other religions and openly sell or possess any items that symbolise religious holidays of other religions"
This can be abused. Christian tourists may want to celebrate christmas, and their celebration can be intentionally misconstrued as a way of spreading their religion. You think the Islamic ministry is not that petty? Think again!
"Moreover, the proposed regulations should empower the authorities to check printing presses and bookshops for material in conflict with Islam, and make it an offence to publish such opinions or views in the media."
Authorities should never meddle with the press. Why? Because it is not a crime to communicate. Religion should not be a tool of oppression, and to use it as such makes you a kafir. (lol)
"Furthermore, the regulations should ensure that photos and videos used in advertisements do not clash with Islamic codes of behaviour and make it illegal to introduce elements of foreign cultures that conflict with Islam."
Elements of foreign cultures that conflicts with Islam? Hell, SHAVING conflicts with Islam for YOU guys ...so, well, fuck you.
"Salaf also recommended obligating non-Muslim visitors to inhabited islands to adhere to a code of dress and conduct appropriate to an Islamic environment."
May I also suggest subjecting them to a compulsory anti-septic shower on entry to every island? Don't wanna get kafir western germs on us, do we? (unless of course the germs convert)
"Salaf’s recommendations further call for specifying penalties for those who openly “challenge or defy” God, his Prophet or Islamic shariah, and make it an offence to disrespect the Prophet or his companions."
Don't you people realize how arrogant you sound? You are proposing that it be a crime (which it already is, I think?) to disagree with you.
Why shouldn't one disagree with you?
Why shouldn't one disagree with me?
Why shouldn't everybody disagree with everybody?
The point is, we all think, and we're all different - hence, we all think different. Give me a good reason why one should not be allowed to think for oneself, and make whatever decision one thinks is right for him/her.
Lets say, for example, a Maldivian somehow chose to become a Hindu. And lets say he "disrespected" the prophet and his companions. What happens then?
Nothing.
Except these extremist vermin get some sort of sick satisfaction from vengeance, and take away ones life just for uttering a few words.
Blasphemous they might be, but they are still just words, and it's childish to make a big deal out of them.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
He said she said the world is gonna end
Hello guys, and female guys. You gullible idiots.
Can you please shut the fuck up about "doomsday theories"? Seriously, it's embarrassing to even listen to you people.
Try to get this into your head - IT'S BULLSHIT.
It's so untrue, and so unscientific, that no thinking person even considers what ancient astrologers (or even contemporary astrologers) say.
YES, that's what the super intelligent and ultra-knowledgable Mayans did: astrology.
You know those horoscopes that are supposed to predict what happens to you but instead uses vague descriptions of what you should do in any given social circumstance? That's astrology. Do you really think that we're of so much significance in this universe that the movement of the planets and stars are based on our actions?
So, the Mayans looked at the stars. But they were no scientists. They derived the wrong conclusions from their study of the stars, just like the modern astrologers. Mayan predictions were their equivalent of today's horoscopes.
These "theories" are so full of shit that I think debunking them would be a big waste of time. (but you can click here for NASA's* article on 2012) Just try not to believe EVERY thing you read and hear. Try to assess the information, distinguish the bullshit from fact (sniffing might help, anyting based on astrology reeks of shit), and try not to be so gullible. That way you won't feel so stupid when nothing happens on December 21, 2012.
*NASA is a huge organization comprised of many many scientists, whose knowledge of the universe is said to rival that of the Mayans.
Can you please shut the fuck up about "doomsday theories"? Seriously, it's embarrassing to even listen to you people.
Try to get this into your head - IT'S BULLSHIT.
It's so untrue, and so unscientific, that no thinking person even considers what ancient astrologers (or even contemporary astrologers) say.
YES, that's what the super intelligent and ultra-knowledgable Mayans did: astrology.
You know those horoscopes that are supposed to predict what happens to you but instead uses vague descriptions of what you should do in any given social circumstance? That's astrology. Do you really think that we're of so much significance in this universe that the movement of the planets and stars are based on our actions?
So, the Mayans looked at the stars. But they were no scientists. They derived the wrong conclusions from their study of the stars, just like the modern astrologers. Mayan predictions were their equivalent of today's horoscopes.
These "theories" are so full of shit that I think debunking them would be a big waste of time. (but you can click here for NASA's* article on 2012) Just try not to believe EVERY thing you read and hear. Try to assess the information, distinguish the bullshit from fact (sniffing might help, anyting based on astrology reeks of shit), and try not to be so gullible. That way you won't feel so stupid when nothing happens on December 21, 2012.
*NASA is a huge organization comprised of many many scientists, whose knowledge of the universe is said to rival that of the Mayans.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Man loses job over twitter
Those of you who have been following the blogosphere will remember the internet exploits of a Gar* man, with the screen name of Epic Loser, breaching customer privacy while being employed at Raajje Online.
For those that did not click on the link above, this guy, also known as I.M. Saeed, goes into homes of ROL customers' homes ostensibly to connect their computers to the web. But his true intention is not to help us download porn at slow speeds, no, far from it. What he really intends to do is investigate ......yes, you guessed it: whether ROL customers masturbate or not.
Epic Loser was fired soon after he posted derogatory comments against Hilath. Above is a screenshot of his twitter page, sulking, after he was fired.
This might be the first time a person was fired in Male over twitter. And with ignorance of the most common codes of decency and ethics pervading our islands nation, he won't be the last of the proud and unprofessional deputies of the clandestine Wank Police getting fired for carrying out their investigations on their real jobs.
________________
*Gar: A term used towards male characters and individuals who are so overwhelmingly manly that your own masculinity is absolutely *buried*, leaving you naught but a whimpering, swooning girl-child before them.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Suck it, Britney.
I wish I was born right after World War II. Then I'd have been just the right age for the 60s and 70s, when music actually had some standards.
Sure, it's always about the money when bands go commercial even then. But the poetic genius of the lyrics of Robert Plant and Pink Floyd far exceeds the SHIT we hear in songs today about a guy's reassurances to his "bitches" that his penis is in fact very large (his gun and hummer being proof of it), and that he could "go on all night" unlike "all da otha niggas".
Jimi Hendrix's talent, and the creativity of Deep Purple's pioneering rock music, are miles above what dominates the radios today: R&B and hip-hop "artists" who uses auto voice tuners because, thanks to their immense talent, they can't even sing a note in pitch.
It seems the Australian people are not afraid to demand some class when they spend their well earned money on business gimmicks, thinly veiled as "artists" and "musicians", such as Britney Spears.....and, you know, 99% of today's the mainstream music scene. Click for story.
The Australian government is even demanding full disclosure from singers who lip-synch so that the people know what they are paying for. It's about time somebody did something against these fakers *coughE' handhaanugaacough* !
Sure, it's always about the money when bands go commercial even then. But the poetic genius of the lyrics of Robert Plant and Pink Floyd far exceeds the SHIT we hear in songs today about a guy's reassurances to his "bitches" that his penis is in fact very large (his gun and hummer being proof of it), and that he could "go on all night" unlike "all da otha niggas".
Jimi Hendrix's talent, and the creativity of Deep Purple's pioneering rock music, are miles above what dominates the radios today: R&B and hip-hop "artists" who uses auto voice tuners because, thanks to their immense talent, they can't even sing a note in pitch.
It seems the Australian people are not afraid to demand some class when they spend their well earned money on business gimmicks, thinly veiled as "artists" and "musicians", such as Britney Spears.....and, you know, 99% of today's the mainstream music scene. Click for story.
The Australian government is even demanding full disclosure from singers who lip-synch so that the people know what they are paying for. It's about time somebody did something against these fakers *coughE' handhaanugaacough* !
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Hypocrisy: An Accepted Norm.
"It says right there in Islamic law that the hands of thieves must be cut, and murderers killed. What is Anni playing at? This is an Islamic nation," she ranted.
To which I pointed out how those punishments were not carried out even under Maumoon rule.
"That may be so, but we mustn't disrespect it so much as to not even include these punishments on paper. Carrying them out is another case!"
To which I could not make a reply, only marvel at the blatant hypocrisy she suggested that we practice, as if there wasn't any problem with it.
Hypocrisy is rampant in the Maldives, so much so that it has now become an accepted norm. Whatever you may do in practice, make sure you put up a noble and moral face to the masses, which is all that matters. The inconsistencies of your actions and your rhetoric may be disregarded, so long as you don the gloves of righteousness in the eyes of the people.
Why couldn't she concede that corporal punishments like amputation or stoning is too inhumane a punishment for our times, especially when we have prisons to isolate criminals from society?
Why do we have to "put it on paper" if we are content with not honoring its word?
Because it is part of who we are, our national identity.
We have a tendency to avoid facing realities and live in a fairytale world which just seems much easier to deal with.
My daughter is being sexually abused? Oh, it simply cannot be true, I refuse to believe it! My life is much better without knowledge of such a thing! Lets pretend you didn't say anything. (This actually happens, refer to this post, and check out the comments as well which are very revealing)
Whatever goes on inside is shrugged off as irrelevant, deluding oneself that as long as everything is in order "on paper", it's just fine. It's when these things get out into the eyes of the public, ever watchful in desperation to quench their thirst for gossip, that we have to deal with whatever issue we've happily ignored until that time.
I think it's time we abandon this urge to conserve the illusion of social stability - speak our minds, gather the strength to face what our Maldivian instinct tells us to avoid, in hopes of achieving true social stability: a people who are sincere and transparent in their rhetoric.
To which I pointed out how those punishments were not carried out even under Maumoon rule.
"That may be so, but we mustn't disrespect it so much as to not even include these punishments on paper. Carrying them out is another case!"
To which I could not make a reply, only marvel at the blatant hypocrisy she suggested that we practice, as if there wasn't any problem with it.
Hypocrisy is rampant in the Maldives, so much so that it has now become an accepted norm. Whatever you may do in practice, make sure you put up a noble and moral face to the masses, which is all that matters. The inconsistencies of your actions and your rhetoric may be disregarded, so long as you don the gloves of righteousness in the eyes of the people.
Why couldn't she concede that corporal punishments like amputation or stoning is too inhumane a punishment for our times, especially when we have prisons to isolate criminals from society?
Why do we have to "put it on paper" if we are content with not honoring its word?
Because it is part of who we are, our national identity.
We have a tendency to avoid facing realities and live in a fairytale world which just seems much easier to deal with.
My daughter is being sexually abused? Oh, it simply cannot be true, I refuse to believe it! My life is much better without knowledge of such a thing! Lets pretend you didn't say anything. (This actually happens, refer to this post, and check out the comments as well which are very revealing)
Whatever goes on inside is shrugged off as irrelevant, deluding oneself that as long as everything is in order "on paper", it's just fine. It's when these things get out into the eyes of the public, ever watchful in desperation to quench their thirst for gossip, that we have to deal with whatever issue we've happily ignored until that time.
I think it's time we abandon this urge to conserve the illusion of social stability - speak our minds, gather the strength to face what our Maldivian instinct tells us to avoid, in hopes of achieving true social stability: a people who are sincere and transparent in their rhetoric.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A message to the people
MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!
Is that so hard to do?
What satisfaction do you get from nosing into other people's lives?
Can't you people just respect one's individuality and let him/her be, given that one does not harm another?
How is it relevant to your life if somebody holds a particular belief, or leads a differing lifestyle?
Are these people going into your home and corrupting you and your loved ones?
Is not Islam about peace?
It is, you say?
How do you expect to achieve peace? By silencing dissent? Murdering apostates, Jews, and homosexuals?
Then you must ask yourselves - is that truly peace?
So I say again: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. And believe me, you'll be doing yourself and others a favor. (just observe how your life improves as you focus more on it, rather than others')
PS. a huge FUCK YOU to DJ majeed and the gang.
And I praise Anni for trying to promote human rights.
PPS. Adhalaath sucks hairy balls.
Is that so hard to do?
What satisfaction do you get from nosing into other people's lives?
Can't you people just respect one's individuality and let him/her be, given that one does not harm another?
How is it relevant to your life if somebody holds a particular belief, or leads a differing lifestyle?
Are these people going into your home and corrupting you and your loved ones?
Is not Islam about peace?
It is, you say?
How do you expect to achieve peace? By silencing dissent? Murdering apostates, Jews, and homosexuals?
Then you must ask yourselves - is that truly peace?
So I say again: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. And believe me, you'll be doing yourself and others a favor. (just observe how your life improves as you focus more on it, rather than others')
PS. a huge FUCK YOU to DJ majeed and the gang.
And I praise Anni for trying to promote human rights.
PPS. Adhalaath sucks hairy balls.
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