Alert level: Purplish red.
All residents in Male and nearby islands are advised to observe a 9:00pm curfew and to keep their homes locked at all times. Security protocols are to stay in effect until such time as the Israeli "doctors" leave. They are not really doctors. As we reminded you at friday sermon, all Israelis have a biological defect which causes them to turn into two-headed slimy monsters that feed on babies and Muslims. Seriously.
signed
Big Daddy
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