This week's headlines

World leaders debate whether life on Earth is worth saving


Solving problems by creating more problems not working anymore, says Minister of Problems


President's spokesperson Abbas Adil Riza diagnosed with unique medical condition after months of defecating from his mouth


Government says tourism booming as tourist arrivals fall


Study: chewing food loudly directly related to how big of an asshole you are

Lawyer Mohamed 'Kutti' Nasheed and his alter-ego 'tsk tsk' voted Biggest Douche in the Universe

Voldemort arrested on charges of black magic, throwing crows