Male City on alert after Christian literature arrives in airport

The crowded capital is teeming with uniformed security personnel after the seizure of Christian literature at the Ibrahim Nasir International airport. Two men were caught attempting to smuggle the books.

Fearing another wave of Christian literature being smuggled into Maldivian soil the Government has called an alert status on all security institutions, such as Maldives National Defence Force and Ministry of Islamic Affairs.

President's spokesperson, whose identity I have no idea of whatsoever because I have stopped caring about Maldivian politics and I can't be bothered to research it because I'm not sure if it's going to be worth my time and even if I did research it and found out who it was it would be more of a waste of time than me writing this article, said, "it is regrettable that we have to take these drastic measures, but in light of the discovery of Christian books on our soil the President fears the World is about to end."

The World has refuted such claims.

Meanwhile, outraged protestors have gathered across the city to yell and burn things.

A young protester in the crowd said, "No Christianity in my country! I am so outraged!" His friend quickly chimed in, "Yeah, I'm like outraging so hard right now."

"I've got such a major outrage on I can barely think," said the creepy one with no pants on.

Two citizens have been hospitalized due to emotional distress caused by Christianity since the seizure of the books. ADK hospital said that more information will be revealed once they are out of surgery.