Male residents couldn't care less about CoNI report

The Commission of National Inquiry, charged with investigating the transfer of power on 7th February 2012, concluded that President Nasheed resigned of his own will, under no duress, and there was no police mutiny or illegal activities of any kind despite video evidence readily available on the internet which indicates otherwise. Citizens in the capital city seemed oblivious to the blatant lies coming out of the holes of our politicians since the dawn  of time.

International observers assigned to the Inquiry Commission joined the government in unashamedly attempting to mislead the public on the change of government. "The investigation was carried out independently and with integrity," they said, with barely muffled giggles.

Canofworms' team interviewed over ones of Maldivians about the report. According to polls generated from these interviews the prevailing opinion amongst the public seems to be, "What's a CoNI?" and closely followed by, "I'm not hungry, thanks."

Psychologist Fathimath Ann Marie who runs her own practice in Male said, "The current government is playing the game very well. Just like the feudal times, they have made it incovenient for people to care about politics." Fathimath Ann Marie says her patients are predominantly religious conservatives trying to deal with the disconnect between their own world and reality. "It's just easier for them not to care and pretend these things don't affect us," says Ann Marie.

Veteran political commentator Moosabe from the Local Market said, "I just don't give a shit anymore." Explaining why no shits were given, "I'm smart enough to recognize a hopeless case when I see one," said Moosabe, "It's time to emigrate!"